I am My Mother's Garden

Here's a copy of my speech that I gave at the luncheon. I will also give this speech at the National Convention in April. This is the topic that was assigned to me.

I Am My Mother’s Garden
My mother’s garden is right outside the back door. On summer days, she would send me out to snip fresh herbs to add to the salad, lemonade, herb rolls, or any of the delicious dishes she was making. I love to see the roses and smell the lavender. It is beautiful and orderly but with a bit of class, just like my mom.
Every year I try to replicate that garden, but never seem to succeed or have the right touch. But I keep trying, having an image in my mind of what a garden should be.
My mother and other women in my life have planted the seeds of motherhood. I have learned what a mother should be through their example. I am their garden.
I would not have the privilege of being a mother without my daughter’s incredible selfless birthmother, Ashlee. Thanks to her amazing sacrifice and love, we adopted our beautiful daughter almost 4 years ago. We hope to be able to adopt another one soon.
My dear step mother, Jill, became an instant mother to three scared and needy children at the age of 28 when she married my Dad. I am so grateful for her love and patience as she taught me how to do chores, took time to cook with me, and taught me the importance of serving others. She loved me and assured me she wouldn’t give up on me. Through all this, she didn’t realize she was also teaching me how to be a wife and a mother.
I think of her patience with me when my three year old pulls up a stool and wants to “help” as I cook dinner. She is an enthusiastic, but not necessarily neat, helper. Jill continues to support, love and encourage me through my motherhood journey.
During my teenage years, Joye taught me that being a mother is fun. Joye is an optimistic, cheerful person with an infectious laugh. She is aptly named. You can’t help but be happy when you are around her.
She was my friend as well as my church leader. She taught me that I am a daughter of God. During the week, she would give me hugs, or show up with cookies and say she was just thinking of me. When her oldest daughter turned 13, Joye said she didn’t understand what all the fuss was about over having a teenager. She said it was so much fun! She seemed to love being a mother.
Joye’s example reminds me to put down the laundry that I’m trying to fold, and dance and twirl with my ballerina daughter. I am reminded how I lucky I am to be a mother.
My best friend Melody and I have been friends since 2nd grade. I am always amazed that despite the turmoil of having 6 children, she is always laughing. When her 6-year old put his ice cream under the bed to save, and she found it 3 days later, she showed it to me and laughed. When her 3 year old put his new pair of glasses in the trash and she had just watched the garbage truck pick up the trash, she laughed. When I mentioned that to her, she pointed out that she could laugh or cry, and she’d rather just laugh.
When my daughter has a tea party with her dolls and spills water and food all over her bedroom floor, I think of Melody and have to laugh as I help her clean it up.
All these women have planted the seeds of mothering in me. I feel so blessed and privileged to be surrounded by amazing examples of motherhood. I am constantly being nourished by their example. I have a lot to learn as a mother, but I am enjoying the journey. Thank you to all the women in my life who cultivate my garden.

Here are my parents with Ginny. They were a great help and support. Thanks for all they do for me!

Utah Young Mother of the Year

I was named Utah Young Mother of the Year for 2009 at a luncheon on Saturday. It's quite an honor. I feel like my job is to represent Utah mothers. I want to encourage them and let them know they are doing a very important job. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I'm supposed to do. I know I will be going to the National convention in Portland at the end of April. From the 50 Young Mothers of the Year from each state, they will choose one National Young Mother of the Year.

Matt and I at our table before the luncheon.

A happy family? Ginny did such a great job of sitting still for such a long time. She was not very happy by the end of it all. She didn't see to care about my recent honors. She just wanted to go home. : >

It was a great day and I felt very loved and appreciated. I wish every mother could have such a special day. Maybe that will be my "platform" for my "tenure"- improving Mother's Day. Make it mandatory that they get to go to a special luncheon where people give speeches about what a wonderful mother you are. I don't think we should make the mothers give a speech of their own, though. That's too stressful.

Family Home Evening Idea

Ginny and I discovered the new website of the Children's Friend. They have fun interactive activities. Our favorite was the puzzle of gospel pictures where you clicked and dragged the pieces into place to make the picture. They played a song from the Children's Songbook that went with the picture. So for FHE, I printed off a picture from the Gospel Art Kit and cut it up into pieces to make a puzzle. We had fun putting it back together as a family. Then we told the story from the picture, messed it up, and put it back together again. My 3 year old thought it was great fun!

Scripture Power

The last few days my daughter has been asking me to tell her stories of Jesus (as opposed to stories about Little Bunny Fufu and Little Bunny Ginny that she usually likes to hear). I have been telling her stories, and she keeps asking for more. Yesterday I got out my Gospel Art Picture Kit that has pictures of scripture stories with the story written on the back. I pulled out several of them and just read them to her.

Today she was asking me again for stories about Jesus (she really likes stories of when He died and was resurrected). I started telling her about it, then got out my scriptures and read parts of 3 Nephi 10 and 3 Nephi 11 from the Book of Mormon. This tells about when Christ visited the Americas after he was resurrected. We read the part where it was dark for 3 days after Christ died in Jerusalem. Then we read the part where Christ appeared to the Nephites. She got so excited when we read that Christ invited "the multitude" (she asked what that meant) to come forward, and one by one, touch his hands, side and feet and witness that he is Jesus Christ.

My 3 year old sat entranced as I read out of the sciptures! Every time I would stop and think her attention was gone, she'd ask me to read more. I tried to read with expression like I do when I'm reading her stories. We were both riveted!

I'm thankful for this reminder of reading the scriptures. One of my New Year's resolutions is to read the scriptures every day. Thank you, Ginny, for helping me do that and reminding me of what is important.

Goodbye Thumbsucking

We're trying to get serious about stopping the thumb sucking around here. I've already talked to my husband, and he's working on it. : > Just kidding, sweetheart. : > Our soon to be 4 year old was reminded by her dentist last week about why it is important to mot suck her thumb. He told her that last time, too, but I haven't had the heart to reinforce it because her thumb sucking is so comforting for her.
Being the good educator and behaviorist that I am, I tried positive reinforcement the first day. I made a chart that says:
"Ginny can keep her thumb out of her mouth" at the top. I drew a line down the middle and put a smiley face on one side, and a frowny face on the other. When she wasn't sucking her thumb, I put smiley face on it. When she was, I drew a frowny face on the other column.
Things went well the first day and she got lots of smiley faces, and a few frowny faces. Teh second day, I decided to add treats as a reward. Not a good idea. She didn't need them and she got too fixated on the treats. We stopped that after she got treats down out of the cupboard (She has discovered the use of chairs and stools to get to all my high places where I put the treats so she can't get into them) and declared that she has not sucked her thumb in a while and should get a treat. She then grabbed 4 candies and shoved them in her mouth. I'm not sure what her dentist would say about that.
We started this last Friday. On Tuesday I told her I was proud of her because I hadn't seen her sucking her thumb all day. She immediately said "And so I get a treat". I told her her treat was feeling good about herself that she is so grown up and is doing something that is hard for her. She looked at me skeptically. I don't think she agreed with me.
Reminder to self- start out with the least intrusive postive reinforcement to change a behavior. In other words, just praise her and give her hugs and high fives and smiles. She doesn't need the treats. And neither do I. Strange thing, but when I get out a treat to give to her, somehow a few of the treats end up in my mouth, too. Wonder how that happens. : >

Where have all the dishtowels gone?

As I was reaching to wipe my hands on the dishtowel that is supposed to be hanging on my stove, I realized it was missing, again. In fact, I find myself putting a new dishtowel up a few times each day. Then my beautiful daughter walked in, wanting to know where the clip is. She had a dishtowel around her head. When she addresses me as "Joesph" or "Dear Husband", I know she is Mary. When she insists I call her "Super Ginny" , she has the dishtowel wrapped around her as a cape. Other times, I find a dishtowel carefully wrapped around her dolls as they are tucked into bed. Lately she has been wrapping them around her waist and using it as a ball gown skirt.
I guess I should be grateful that she gets so much use out of a simple dishtowel. I am always reminded that she doesn't need a lot of expensive toys. Her favorite things to play with are paper towel tubes, washcloths, dishtowels, pieces of paper, it could be anything. And of course if I accidentally throw away the precious treasure of the day, there is a big meltdown.
So parents of young children out there, don't bother buying toys for your children. A pot and pan and stacking bowls form your kitchen are just as entertaining.